Talking to your child about cancer with transparency.

When your child is diagnosed with cancer, it's natural to want to protect them from the pain and anxiety that this diagnosis may cause. However, honesty and transparency with your child are essential for building trust and strengthening your relationship. Even if you try to hide negative information or avoid talking about the illness, children have the ability to observe and pick up on details, even if they seem indifferent.

Your child is likely to be exposed to the word "cancer" from various sources such as doctors, friends, or even family. Instead of trying to hide the truth, it is preferable to clarify the situation honestly and in a specific manner to avoid creating fantasies worse than reality.

The Importance of Transparency:

1. Alleviating Anxiety: Children sense when something is not right. If you don't tell them what's happening, they will build assumptions that may be worse than reality.

Avoid Blame: It's important for your child to know that cancer is not their fault. Understanding this fact helps reduce their feelings of guilt.

Enhancing Cooperation: Children cooperate better with treatment when they understand the importance of what is happening to them.

Plan What You Will Say and How to Say It

When talking to your child, it is important to be calm and patient. Practice what you are going to say and consult with the care team or other parents who have been in a similar situation. Your tone of voice and facial expressions play a big role in how your child receives the information.

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• Preparing the Words: Use simple words that are appropriate for your child's age. You can consult with a child life specialist to help you choose the right words.

Expressing Emotions: If you cry while talking, explain to your child why you are crying and reassure them that they are not the reason for your sadness.

Clarification and Verification: Make sure your child understands the information you provide and verify their comprehension of the questions they ask.

Decide Who Will Speak and When

Some parents may prefer to tell their children about the illness themselves rather than waiting for the doctor to tell them. Choose the right time and involve a trusted person with you if necessary. It may also be helpful to bring a doctor or nurse to explain some of the details.

What Do You Tell Your Child About Cancer?

Your child may wonder about:

• What is Cancer?
• Why did I get it?
• Will I get better?
• What will happen?
• When can we go home?
• What about school?

Provide your child with age-appropriate information and avoid overwhelming them with complex details all at once. Have short, ongoing conversations as needed.

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Helping Your Child Adapt

• Encourage him to ask questions: Supporting your child in expressing their feelings and asking questions enhances their understanding and adaptation.

Correcting Misconceptions: Correct any misinformation your child may have heard before.

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Providing a Supportive and Safe Environment

It is important to create a home environment that encourages the expression of feelings and promotes a sense of security. Dedicate a corner in the house where your child can feel comfortable and express their feelings, whether through playing, drawing, or even reading. You can also organize fun family activities such as movies or games, which help relieve stress and strengthen family bonds. In addition, encouraging family and friends to provide emotional support to your child can have a positive impact. The more a child feels loved and supported by their surroundings, the more confident they become and the better equipped they are to face challenges.

Common Reactions and Misconceptions

Reactions may vary from one child to another, and some may express their feelings through words or actions, while others may exhibit different behaviors. They may have misconceptions about cancer, such as believing it is their fault or that it is a contagious disease. It is essential to clarify these concepts in a manner appropriate for their age.

Final Tips

• Be a role model: Act calmly and with reassurance to be a role model for how to deal with the illness.
• Open Communication Channels: Make your child feel that they can always talk to you about their feelings and thoughts.
• Always be hopeful and positive in front of your child: Because your children's comfort and happiness are linked to your happiness and comfort, even if you don't show it to them, they have the ability to sense it.
• Explain to your child that some children go through more difficult experiences, and encourage them to be grateful for what they have.
• Tell your child that God chose them because He knows they are strong, brave, and capable of overcoming cancer, and tell them that your determination and courage will make you a role model for children in their battle against cancer.

Conclusion

Ultimately, parents are the primary source of information and support for their child. Through honesty and transparency, you can help your child alleviate their fears and strengthen their confidence in your ability to face challenges together. Speaking openly and in an age-appropriate manner can greatly contribute to supporting them during this difficult journey.

Read more about childhood cancer: Support the family and child facing childhood cancer